Meet Castle Rat

Those of you who know me know that I love a band with some spicy lore behind it. This troop absolutely won me over before I even heard a single note. Not only is band tied to some seriously fantastic stories. Each individual member has their own wonderful fleshed out character. I really do not want to spoil too much so do yourself a favor and dive headfirst into a very special interview with Castle Rat.

A self-portrait by, Castle Rat

(clockwise from top-center) Rat Queen: lead singer/rhythm guitarist, The Count: lead guitar/backing vocals, Sarge: drums, Dr. Mouse: bass

Would You Rather

your skin flash like a fast strobe light, or be incredibly slippery? Why?

Sarge: I do not appreciate the question, Private.

Some questions with Castle Rat

Do you write music in your head, in a notebook, on a computer, or your phone?

The Count: Quill and parchment. For oh! What beauteous night spent knelt betwixt the shelves, to roam amongst the perfect medium of Iago and Otello, Odysseus and Calypso. Ink ebon as bile, bleeding down the page as a stuck pig, frozen in eternity. It was 700 years ago, and it was a wretched cold as the murderous depths; the “hell” you squeal of as I sink lovely and through you. Strewn lifeless on the flaming torn wastelands of Saxony. It was 700 years ago, and I was afforded this life, not after death, but OF death! Yes! To prey upon the weak and innocent, virgin and pure. Exacting that gorgeous structure of GOD, which Darwin spelled so elementarily. The fruit now rests, stained on bursting lips and dripping teeth. Ink and quill, asleep in eternity, now awoken? Ink and quill.

Rat Queen: ...And this is why we don’t allow him to write any of the lyrics.

Where does the rat motif stem from?

Rat Queen: The Rat does not stem from anything in your known existence, rather, it is us who stem from The Rat.

How do you view fuzz and distortion? Does this play into your creative process?

Rat Queen: With the use of The Magnistorticon. The technology behind the apparatus is extremely advanced and top secret, borderline supernatural. Only Dr. Mouse truly knows how the device works, seeing as he was its creator. It allows us to view fuzz and distortion up close and in real-time, enabling us to use extreme precision when developing new guitar and bass tones.

What three items do you never leave the house without?

Dr. Mouse: My mask, a vial of my best potion, and my metro card.

What is the best pizza in NYC?

The Count: In this present century, the dollar slice on 2nd ave between 4th and 5th.

What is the Rat Reaper like?

Rat Queen: He’s on the quiet side… tends to stare too long... Doesn’t know how to let things go… I mean, ever since Dr. Mouse brought me back from the dead after I lost my battle against the Black Plague in the dusk our former dimension, the Rat Reaper has been after me to “reclaim” my soul. He’s constantly on our tails through time and space, even sabotaging our shows to bring death upon me once more.

What is the evilest kind of footwear ever invented?

Sarge: Cement Shoes.

What would the title of your memoir/biography be?

Dr. Mouse: I’m glad you asked… Do you mind if I sip on this during our interview? It’s a new elixir I’m working on for HM The Rat Queen. Others in my field say not to get high on your own supply, but I must test it’s potency… for safety and research concerns, of course. Where were we? Ah yes, I am working on a book of my life story, my pursuits in medicine, and the beyond. The working title is “Mouse Man Prophecy: My Life Serving The Queen, and Some Bits About Cheese”. Look for it in The New England Journal of Medicine.

What are your most important values as a musician?

Sarge: Musician Values Commandments: Don’t rush. Don’t drag. Don’t play sharp. Don’t play flat. Don’t fuck up.

If your band had a mascot that would come to every show who would it be? What would they do?

Rat Queen: Probably a giant scythe-wielding rat skeleton dressed in a cloak spreading the plague with a vengeance. Then he could kill me at every show! O! how exciting that would be! And The Count could battle him with a searing hot guitar solo and Dr. Mouse could resurrect me using his mystica— what? Oh... Dr. Mouse just said we already do this at every show. I forgot... Brain gets a little fuzzy with all this dying and getting resurrected business… Okay then; next step is getting a giant rat with bat wings to appear at every show and having THAT battle the Rat Reaper.

Any final comments? (This is your electronic soapbox for one last answer.) 

All: JOIN OUR REALM.

Castle Rat