Beechwood | The Family Interviews
Ground control to Major Tom, these boys are shooting for the stars. Nay — the future!
Meet Beechwood, a pop-punk trio of rowdy rockers hailing from Brooklyn. Described as an “anti-social petty thief, a male hustler, and a delinquent runaway,” these scrappy and stylin’ showmen deliver both grit and glamour. You can catch ‘em on the East Village circuit, specifically in Alphabet City, most like noshing everything bagels and slinging Cholula.
Below, they warn us of the dangers of gamma rays, discuss streaming platforms, and nix nostalgia.
HISTORY OF A FAMOUS INVENTION: A Mad-Lib by Beechwood
The first electric ANATHEMA was invented in 1904 by a BARREN young man named PONTIUS PILATE. He and his brother JIM JONES ran a small FLOOD repair shop, and in their spare time they studied GERMANS. When they started work on their invention, everyone said, "HELP!! You'll never get it off LEADBELLY." But they built a CYLINDRICAL model out of old DEGENERATES and a some used POLIO. The model worked fine, and in ten minutes it toasted 24 WINGS. It also used of up two gallons of MORPHINE an hour, and the top converted into a PACIFIER. They sold the patent to a DISFIGURED millionaire for 9 dollars and lived VEHEMENTLY ever after.
Would You Rather…
be transported permanently 500 years into the future or 500 years into the past? What would you do?
I’ll take my chances with the future. There are way too many risks in going back in time, like what if I fuck up my ancestral line somehow and then I don’t even exist to be able to time travel? Assuming that’s how that works... Not to mention I’ll take flying cars over horse and buggies any day.
Some Questions with BEEChwood
Do you believe the NYC music scene fosters community or competition?
A little bit of both. Competition can be a healthy thing because it can motivate you to work harder. Like whenever I see a great band play it makes me want to run home and write a song as good or better than what I just heard. I personally don’t feel competitive against anyone in particular in New York because we’re not anything like any of the other bands here. We have a lot of close friends in bands, but at the same time we’ve never felt like we’re part of any particular “scene.”
What draws you to the old-school downtown NYC music scene?
Nothing draws me to the past, we’re looking towards the future. All of the important people from the old downtown scene are either dead or not making music anymore. I’m sick of all this 70s New York nostalgia, it’s boring. Just put it to bed already, for everyone’s sake. I’ll always love listening to The Ramones though, especially when I feel like bashing my head against a wall.
What is the most dangerous thing to microwave? Why?
Don’t get me started on this...everything that comes out of those things is dangerous. I’ve put enough toxic shit in my body by now that I don’t need to add gamma rays and God knows what else to the list.
What are your thoughts on streaming platforms? Have they helped or hindered the industry?
Like anything, there are pros and cons to it. The pros are obvious, we all enjoy accessing our favorite tunes at the click of a button. The cons are less clear but still very important and have long-lasting consequences. Basically, because the big record labels have finally figured out a way to make good money from streams, they don’t care who the artist is or what the music sounds like. The reason why you’re seeing all this money go into box sets, reissues and music documentaries on legacy artists like Bob Dylan, Clapton, The Rolling Stones, etc. is because if the revenue is based on streams, then the labels are profiting more from reviving old artists that they already own the rights to as opposed to spending money developing and promoting new artists, which costs more and takes time. It used to be that consumers only paid for music in CD/LP form once, and that was it for the labels until the next new thing came out. Now, they make money on every listen/stream. As a result, labels don’t take chances on developing new quality artists like they used to. If the money is just in clicks, then it’s easier to just put out the new single from that idiot girl from Dr. Phil than something meaningful, because the Dr. Phil girl is guaranteed streams, or clicks, or whatever. I could go on and on about this...
Does nostalgia feed into your music?
What is your favorite place to play in the city?
I’ll always love playing Berlin, which is a small underground club on Ave A. It’s become our regular spot, a place where we can try out new songs in front of our friends and then take that somewhere bigger.
If the price was no option what would be the perfect bagel?
Can never go wrong with an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese. That being said, if price is no option, I’ll take a bagel made out of solid gold so I can go make some quick money with it.
Could you write us a Haiku?
I don’t have to write
Something meaningful for you
I’d rather go sleep
What is the best condiment ever?
Cholula Hot Sauce
What is your go-to stage outfit?
3-piece black and white tailored suit with some black leather Cuban-heeled Beatle boots.
Where do you normally go after a show, to a party or home to sleep?
Almost always end up at the bar afterward. If I’m on tour then I like to go out after the gigs and see a bit of wherever we’re at.
Any final comments? (This is your electronic soapbox for one last answer.)
I’ve got a lot to say, but that’s all for now, folks.